Impressionable Young Muslim Finds Source for Misplaced Rage

Posted on December 28, 2009


EP: NYC – Aziz Ali, a young college-aged hipster, informed his Facebook friends today via email that he is dissatisfied with the state of the world.  Ali, who was writing from his parent’s home in Manhattan’s upper eastside, remained disillusioned with what he perceives as gross “injustice” against Muslims.  “You of course have Chechnya and Kashmir” he explained while sipping a Caribou Coffee latte, “but when I think about which global injustice I should demonstrate sanctimonious rage towards while pursuing my career in either investment banking or derivatives trading, I think that right now it has to be Palestine.”

Aziz Ali, who changed his name for the interview, is seen here strolling to his college campus. Ali wished to remain anonymous in case this story adversely impacted his chances at an internship with JP Morgan over the summer.

Ali, who grew up attending a private college preparatory school in Westchester county, is not entirely sure where Palestine is in the world, nor is he familiar with the details of the Arab-Israeli conflict, but he is adamant that his parents are not doing enough for his Palestinian brothers. “Its pathetic, they just go about their lives treating their cancer patients as if everything is normal – they are such sellouts” said Ali who recently demonstrated his independence by paying for his own cell phone from his  $1,000 per month allowance. For his part, Ali has dedicated ten minutes every day to forwarding emails with pictures of dead Palestinians to his friends.

While initially hesitant to do an interview, Ali later relented when he realized that he did not have to use his real name. “I mean come on, I am applying for an internship at JP Morgan this summer and one of the recruiters could google me and see this stuff about Palestine and you know how all bankers are Jay E Double Yous” he explained. “I feel like channeling my anger towards an abstract notion of western domination helps alleviate the true sense of insecurity I feel about myself and my privileged life. Palestine helps me do that, so for right now I really think we need to free Palestine.”