Malaysian PM Najib Accused of Molesting Monkey

Posted on February 5, 2010


EP: Kuala Lumpur – In another shocking revelation to rock the scandal-ridden nation of Malaysia, Prime Minister Najib Razak has been accused by a Kuala Lumpur-based monkey of molesting him during a late night encounter several weeks ago. The monkey, a 120 pound orangutan ape, regularly loitered outside the Prime Minister’s residence in Seri Perdana snacking on leaves and observing passersby. Lawyers representing the monkey claim that over a period of several weeks from September to December of 2009, the orangutan caught the eye of the Prime Minister who proceeded to lure the monkey into his home with bananas. “We believe that our client has been grossly violated by the Prime Minister who used his position of power to have his way with him” stated Azwan Hassan, an attorney for the ape, “he left a trail of bananas leading directly to his bedroom. Once our client was inside, he shut the door behind him, closed the blinds and proceeded to fondle our client for several hours.”

Prime Minister Najib Razak (lower image) faces molestation allegations from a Kuala Lumpur-based Orangutan. The Orangutan's face has been pixelated to protect his identity.

Hassan said that the ape is suing the Prime Minister for 100 million ringgits to compensate for emotional and physical trauma suffered during the encounter. “Our client remains in a debilitated emotional state and suffered significant physical trauma as well. He has been largely shunned by the larger orangutan community in Kuala Lumpur once word of the molestation became known.” Hasan also revealed some shocking details of the encounter. The alleged molester, Prime Minister Najib, was apparently dressed in only a silk smoking jacket and forced the monkey to remain seated in his lap while the sordid affair unfolded.

A spokesman for the Prime Minister refused to acknowledge the incident and claimed the accusations were part of a political plot by the opposition party to weaken Najib’s standing in the country in advance of the next elections. However, sources inside the Prime Minister’s office are quietly creating a new narrative around the shocking revelations. An aide to the Prime Minister told reporters that the monkey was “clearly flaunting himself in front of the Prime Minister, walking around the neighborhood naked.”

Nik Azim, an independent political consultant in Kuala Lumpur, is arguing that the Prime Minister is preparing for the possibility that the allegations may ultimately be proven true. “Its obvious what is going on here, the Prime Minister saw a monkey he could not resist and now he is spinning the incident to make it seem like it was the monkey’s fault. That orangutan should be happy he has not been blown to pieces yet” he explained, making reference to Najib’s habit of exploding would-be political scandals.

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