Browsing All Posts filed under »International Politics«

1,027 Palestinian Prisoners Released for Gilad Shalit Do Not Have Names

October 19, 2011

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EP: Jerusalem – Gilad Shalit, the Israeli soldier held captive by Hamas  since 2006, was released on October 18th in exchange for 1,027 Palestinian prisoners who have no names. At a press conference in Gaza city, a number of the recently released prisoners addressed the issue in front of a handful of reporters. “We realize that by […]

Tall Blond White Males Not Concerned About Ethnic Profiling in Wake of Norway Attacks

July 25, 2011

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EP: Oslo, Norway- A recent poll conducted by Gallup reveals that tall blond white males between the ages of 27 and 45 are overwhelmingly unconcerned that fallout from the recent terrorist attacks in Norway will result in increased profiling of tall, blond white men. Anders Behring Breivik, a 32 year old nordic man of white, anglo […]

For His Last Act, Gaddafi Plans Reenactment of Final Scene from “Scarface”

February 23, 2011

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EP: Tripoli – Muammar Gaddafi, facing the greatest challenge to his 42 year rule of Libya, explained to reporters that when he said he would “fight to the last drop of blood” and “die as a martyr” during his wide-ranging and discursive 70 minute address to the nation, he was actually reflecting on the iconic […]

Arab Autocrat Visa Applications to Saudi Arabia Spike in Wake of Egyptian Revolution

February 11, 2011

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EP: Riyadh – Amidst the collapse of Hosni Mubarak’s 30 years of rule in Egypt, Saudi Arabia’s Ministry of Foreign affairs is reporting a spike in visa applications from Arab autocrats under the country’s “Retired Tyrant” extended stay program. While an official from the Ministry declined to comment on who was applying, he did say […]

US Strategy to Promote Democracy in Middle East Hijacked by Actual Movement for Democracy

February 5, 2011

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EP: Washington – As the Obama administration struggles to gain its footing amidst a series of protests unfolding across Egypt and the larger Middle East, many within the administration are expressing concern that an actual democratic movement is derailing official US policy for promoting democracy in the region. One administration insider who spoke on condition […]

Arab Monarchs Move to Consolidate Power in Wake of Tunisia Uprising

January 26, 2011

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EP : Amman – In effort to consolidate their power in the wake of Tunisia’s unprecedented popular uprising, several Arab monarchs are expanding their honorific designations. King Abdullah of Jordan, who was previously titled “His Majesty” will now be referred to as “His Ultimate Infinite Royal Eminence.” King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, previously known as […]

Arab Leaders Relieved Wikileaks Not as Bad as They Thought

November 30, 2010

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EP: Cairo – As the United States diplomatic corps struggle to control the fallout from the latest Wikileaks release, Arab leaders are breathing a sigh of relief after becoming aware of the contents of the documents. “People are saying these documents are making us look bad” said King Abdullah of Jordan.  “But trust me, I […]