For His Last Act, Gaddafi Plans Reenactment of Final Scene from “Scarface”

February 23, 2011


EP: Tripoli – Muammar Gaddafi, facing the greatest challenge to his 42 year rule of Libya, explained to reporters that when he said he would “fight to the last drop of blood” and “die as a martyr” during his wide-ranging and discursive 70 minute address to the nation, he was actually reflecting on the iconic […]

Arab Autocrat Visa Applications to Saudi Arabia Spike in Wake of Egyptian Revolution

February 11, 2011


EP: Riyadh – Amidst the collapse of Hosni Mubarak’s 30 years of rule in Egypt, Saudi Arabia’s Ministry of Foreign affairs is reporting a spike in visa applications from Arab autocrats under the country’s “Retired Tyrant” extended stay program. While an official from the Ministry declined to comment on who was applying, he did say […]

US Strategy to Promote Democracy in Middle East Hijacked by Actual Movement for Democracy

February 5, 2011


EP: Washington – As the Obama administration struggles to gain its footing amidst a series of protests unfolding across Egypt and the larger Middle East, many within the administration are expressing concern that an actual democratic movement is derailing official US policy for promoting democracy in the region. One administration insider who spoke on condition […]

Arab Monarchs Move to Consolidate Power in Wake of Tunisia Uprising

January 26, 2011


EP : Amman – In effort to consolidate their power in the wake of Tunisia’s unprecedented popular uprising, several Arab monarchs are expanding their honorific designations. King Abdullah of Jordan, who was previously titled “His Majesty” will now be referred to as “His Ultimate Infinite Royal Eminence.” King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, previously known as […]

Attorney General Eric Holder Conducts “Sting” Operation at Muslim Charity Event

December 11, 2010


EP: San Francisco – Attorney General Eric Holder courted controversy at a charity dinner held by Muslim Advocates,  a national legal-advocacy and civil rights group,   when he “entrapped” and arrested several Muslim audience members in a sting operation during the evenings proceedings. Holder was initially greeted by the 300-person audience of Muslim civic leaders with […]

Arab Leaders Relieved Wikileaks Not as Bad as They Thought

November 30, 2010


EP: Cairo – As the United States diplomatic corps struggle to control the fallout from the latest Wikileaks release, Arab leaders are breathing a sigh of relief after becoming aware of the contents of the documents. “People are saying these documents are making us look bad” said King Abdullah of Jordan.  “But trust me, I […]

Saudis Contemplate Golden Arches Over Kaaba

November 15, 2010


EP: Mecca -After building the world’s largest clock tower over looking the city of Mecca, the holy sanctuary of over 1.4 billion Muslim worldwide, Saudi officials are contemplating establishing the  world’s largest set of “McDonalds Golden Arches .” The arches would span from the east side of the city over the Kaaba and be completed […]

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